Let It Grow Organic Gardens

And I resumed the struggle. -Vladimir

Thursday, March 08, 2007

We Wanted To Be Eco-Terrorists, But We Couldn't Find A Ladder

It all started when some friends drove out from Asheville. They arrived incensed over an advertisement they'd seen on the side of a barn - an advertisement for a (yet another) housing development.
Incensed they were, not so much because of the development, but because of the gtotesque perversion perpetrated on the American tradition of barn advertisement. We decided we had to do something.
This idea was thrown about, and then that. Most ideas involved spray paint. The ultimate plan was, I must say, beautiful in its complex simplicity. We'd get an old piece of greenhouse plastic, paint it to resemble an quilt square, and and use it to cover the barn sign. Magnificent. We would restore Appalachian tradition to the barn, covering up the objectionable and inevitable future.
I had thoughtfully placed an old piece of plastic on the edge of one of the fields, and we m,anaged to find all kinds of paint. We managed to sketch out a quilt square (thank God for those evenings spent with Grandma) and set brush to bucket.
What we had not anticipated was the amount of time it would take the paint to dry on plastic, especially since it was now the middle of the night and the sun was long gone. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. It was like waiting for paint to dry.
It was tome to seize the inspiration and act, so we draped the (sorta dry) quilt over the car, secured it with a crafty application of electrical tape, and sallied forth.
What we had failed to take into consideration was the haigth of the barn. The advertisement was on the second floor. We had no way to get up there, and so, despite many valiant climbing efforts, we abandoned our mission and headed home. Besides, it was 3 AM and we were hungry.
Thus I now sit before this keyboard of two minds - one, I am utterly ashamed at our failure to achieve our objective and reluctant to even mention it. Two: we tried, and perhaps even this short sketch of our endeavor will awaken in others an appreciation of barn signage and a respect for rural tradtion.
If anyone wants a giant plastic quilt square, I know where one could be had, cheap.


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