An Open Letter To The President of the United States

Dear George,
Is it alright if I call you George?
I was in my doctor's waiting room yesterday, flipping through a month old issue of Time.
You may be wondering why I was at my doctor's. Well, it's a really long story. Let me just say that a few months ago I was climbing on something I shouldn't have been climbing on. Anyway, now that we're on the subject, would it be too much trouble if you did something along the lines of health care reform? I mean, I know you're busy with your war and everything, but this whole being at the mercy of the insurance megalith is getting old.
Okay, I was talking about Time. I read that Laura is really into organic food.
Yep, there it was, right there in an old issue of Time.
Well, George, there's something we have in common! I eat organic food, too! In fact, I grow organic food!
That's right, I'm an organic farmer.
Seeing as how I toured the White House with my grandmother when I was nine, I thought it only appropriate that I invite you and Laura here to visit me. You can show her where organic food comes from, and even help me weed a bed or two. We'll pick some veggies, then come into my trailor and make a scrumptious organic lunch! We'll have kale and sprouts and some whole grains and maybe even a fruit sweetened dessert.
Are you a vegetarian? I have lots of vegetarians who visit me here, so I've gotten pretty good at leaving meat out of things.
I have a feeling that you're gonna like lunch so much, and have so much fun visiting the farm, that before you leave you're gonna ask me if there's anything you can do to help me.
Well, as a matter of fact, there is.
What I want to do is hang a big sign over all the vegetables I sell: As Eaten by the President of the United States.
I know you don't endorse things very often, but just think about how happy Laura will be when she sees a big picture of you over my market stand, biting into a delicious kohlrabi!
Things are about to get busy here, what with planting season and my surgery and all, so if you could make it down in the next week or so, that would be great.
I look forward to seeing you.
As ever,
I remain your loyal servant,
Frank
PS You can leave Dick at home.