You've Got To Be Kidding

My friend B* is in for a big surprise. He's an environmental type - studied all the -ologies and is into trees and birds and things. He’s gotten a grant to go off and study - get this - yellow bellied sap-suckers.
You'd think that with his education he'd know that such creatures don't exist outside of SJ Perelman essays and vaudeville skits. But no. He's home right now packing.
I have a little bit of trouble imagining how the whole thing came about - no not really - it must have gone a bit like this:
Some Save The Everythings Foundation somewhere must have had a little bit of grant money left after some project, and decided to spend it on a laugh. The ad they ran in whatever paper must have gone a little like this:
Wanted: Bright young idealistic student who likes snakes and mosquito bites and wants to save endangered species. Must work for low pay. Must like birds.
Then B* calls, and whoever answers the phone struggles to stifle his laughter.
"We want you to - gasp - study bird migration. You'll be - humph! ah- ah-hem - climbing to the top of a mountain with six-hundred pounds of gear. Then, spend six months alone looking at -ha! er- gasp! Um - yellow bellied sap-suckers! A-ha. (Wheeze.) Ha! Ah, yes, yellow bellied sap-suckers! We'll pay you when you get back."
B*, while admits to never actually seeing a yellow bellied sap-sucker, is certain of their existence and is exited about the project. Stay tuned for more details.

On a completely different note, the farm operated at astounding efficiency today. (Don't ask me how.) Up early, I had all greens harvested before the sun hit the fields. They all got packed into boxes and stacked in the shade with-out any real screw-ups. I even fixed myself breakfast. The truck got loaded with plants starts - no. Let me start from the beginning. The plant starts that needed to go to market were all organized onto a specific table in the greenhouse, and got carried to the truck without being dropped or lost or forgotten or anything. They went right into the truck, followed by all other market paraphenalia: stand, scale, tables, tablecloths (washed,) and a cooler full of snacks and lunch.
Just then J* got home from bringing I* to daycare. Her truck got loaded with similar efficiency. There was nothing to do for like, half an hour. So I sat in the sun and drank tea. Then I got into the truck and left. A neighbor had called to tell me another logging truck went over a cliff, so I knew to take an alternate route to A'ville. I did. Got to market with plenty of time to spare. Relaxed and took my time setting up. Hadn't forgotten anything or broke anything or encountered any catastrophes. Just sat there on the truck all day and sold lettuce and plants. And sold quite a bit. J* even sold out of fish. Got packed up and went into the Co-op to buy some noodles and some tofu. Went up the road to have a beer with S* and B* and I*. Came home. Alright, somewhere on Leiceister Hwy the shifting fork fell off the truck. But I found it and put it back on. Even had an extra cotter pin. Here I am.
Sorry if this is kind of dull. I blog better during disasters or when I'm pissed off or when I'm in the midst of a mad scheme. But all I did today was what I was supposed to.