Dear Jesus,
I’ve been reading up on this selling Absolution stuff lately. Do you still do that or was it just something that all those corrupt popes came up with?
Is this option open to a simple guy like me, or do you have to be a king, or at least a duke or an earl or something? And do you have a sliding scale of prices or do I have to, like, launch a whole Crusade or something? And is that what the President is really up to?
Anyway, I don’t have a lot of money but I’ve got some pretty cool stuff to trade. Can I barter Absolution?
I’m sorry about occasionally taking your name in vain. If I give you a case of broccoli, can we just call it even? How ‘bout two cases?
I’ve got lots and lots of plowshares, which I know interest you. What’re they worth? I mean, if I covet my neighbor’s plowshares, can I just give you mine?
Remember that girl from San Francisco I was sort of going out with a few years ago? Were you by any chance watching when we went to Seattle that weekend? If so, I guess we have to start negotiations.
What’s the deal with cannabis? Like, Catholics can drink and Baptists can’t, but what are your thoughts on herb? How about a toaster and a non-stick skillet?
I confess to impure thoughts from time to time, but I’ve never been able to reconcile that with all that go-forth-and-multiply stuff. Can you tell me what that’s all about, or do I actually have to go to church or something?
The honor-thy-mother-and-father stuff is a big one for me. I’ve been to therapy. Believe me. I’ve read lots of books and even went through this rebirthing workshop, once. I have a feeling you made that rule in a much simpler time and it’s no longer applicable. Now that I think of it, that’s actually one of your Father’s rules, isn’t it? I bet that pisses you off.
I’m sorry about being into Buddhism. I’ve got some antique furniture that may interest you. Just so you know, he doesn’t mind that I’m writing to you.
Is listening to the Rolling Stones a sin? How about Snoop Dogg? If I listen to the Rolling Stones and give you a Handel’s Messiah CD, are we even?
I guess you probably have a copy already.
That’s about it for now.
Hope the Pope’s feeling better.
Frank
Is this option open to a simple guy like me, or do you have to be a king, or at least a duke or an earl or something? And do you have a sliding scale of prices or do I have to, like, launch a whole Crusade or something? And is that what the President is really up to?
Anyway, I don’t have a lot of money but I’ve got some pretty cool stuff to trade. Can I barter Absolution?
I’m sorry about occasionally taking your name in vain. If I give you a case of broccoli, can we just call it even? How ‘bout two cases?
I’ve got lots and lots of plowshares, which I know interest you. What’re they worth? I mean, if I covet my neighbor’s plowshares, can I just give you mine?
Remember that girl from San Francisco I was sort of going out with a few years ago? Were you by any chance watching when we went to Seattle that weekend? If so, I guess we have to start negotiations.
What’s the deal with cannabis? Like, Catholics can drink and Baptists can’t, but what are your thoughts on herb? How about a toaster and a non-stick skillet?
I confess to impure thoughts from time to time, but I’ve never been able to reconcile that with all that go-forth-and-multiply stuff. Can you tell me what that’s all about, or do I actually have to go to church or something?
The honor-thy-mother-and-father stuff is a big one for me. I’ve been to therapy. Believe me. I’ve read lots of books and even went through this rebirthing workshop, once. I have a feeling you made that rule in a much simpler time and it’s no longer applicable. Now that I think of it, that’s actually one of your Father’s rules, isn’t it? I bet that pisses you off.
I’m sorry about being into Buddhism. I’ve got some antique furniture that may interest you. Just so you know, he doesn’t mind that I’m writing to you.
Is listening to the Rolling Stones a sin? How about Snoop Dogg? If I listen to the Rolling Stones and give you a Handel’s Messiah CD, are we even?
I guess you probably have a copy already.
That’s about it for now.
Hope the Pope’s feeling better.
Frank
2 Comments:
At February 28, 2005 5:22 PM,
amy said…
two odd coincidents:
i've been to rebirthing workshops (and assisted with a couple others...would that make me a rebirthing midwife?)
and...i'm sauteeing chicken and broccoli for dinner tonight! hmmm...what does it all mean?
At February 28, 2005 10:23 PM,
Frank said…
People have grappled with the idea of synchronicity for centuries and have found no adaquate explanation.
What comes closest, for me, was something that Harry Shearer said.
He said that everything that happens in the universe is somehow related to the OJ Simpson trail.
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